Super Real Quotes from Teh Moveh (Originally Posted Dec. 18 on Purple Fleur)

May contain nuts. And spoilers.

"I'm not useless I swear!" ~Kylo Ren

"Why can't I be Darth Vader?! *emo hair flip* He was soooooo coooool! *rubs Vader poster sensually*" ~Kylo Ren

"Your mother says it's time to stop being emo and come home." ~Han Solo

"Dad of the yeaaaaarrrr...." ~Han Solo - Spoken while being kicked off a bridge by his loving son.

"Yer a Jedi, Rey!" ~Maz Kanata

"My gun is the biggest gun." ~General Hux

"Kylo is a moron." ~General Hux

"I have tits but you can't see them in this armor! Also you can infer from my voice that I'm a powerful badass woman! Too bad I supposedly die before the end of the film and have 0 character development!" ~Captain Phasma

"I'm funny guys! Right? I'm funny! lul" ~Finn

"I'M THE HERO!" ~Finn (see APH America for accurate posing and inflection)

"Mommy and daddy are coming back I just know it!" ~Rey

"I've never been trained with a light saber in my life but I'm a superior combatant to someone to has been!" ~Rey

"Totes not Luke's daughter." ~Rey

"BEEP BOP BOOP I'M FUCKING CUTE! ALSO VERY IMPORTANT!" ~BB-8

"I'm the bestest pilot in all of the Resistance!" ~Poe Dameron

"Finn is fucking hot." ~Poe Dameron

"Hey guys you remember that thing that could destroy planets? That round thing? Of death? Remember that?" ~The Galactic Republic

"It seems someone is building a large spherical object out of a planet. It looks a bit ominous. Should we do something about it? Eh." ~The (Former) Galactic Republic

"I'm still annoying, but now I have a red arm! What's up with that?!" ~C-3PO

"I LIIIIIVE! I mean... Beep Boop. Also here's that plot device you needed." ~R2-D2

"GGGRRREreregggrgrrgGRRERGRggegr. Nailed it." ~Chewbacca

"I'm just here for the callback!" ~Leia Organna

"Hi. I too am in the movie." ~Luke Skywalker aka Jedi Jesus